Ok - I am ready to dive in!

I have come to know the personality of a post-published author - well.

We are lost, confused, anxious, optimistic, disillusioned, disappointed, unproductive, proud, drinkers or tokers, and, of course, in the red.  I had no inkling of what awaited me in terms of choices, barriers, and challenges after I self-published "Because We Could: A Memoir".

I was the girl that could pick up the phone and bull shit my way into being selected to cater a
Jane Fonda film - with no experience!

 Jane and Ann Bancroft in 'Agnes of God'

I was the girl who could woo a rock star.

You know who.

I was the girl who could run the engines of a 112-foot World War II submarine chaser.

But, now I am the girl who can turn in circles for days, weeks, months - hiding from myself while wondering what and how? My dream has never been to become a famous author, but rather, it has always been to see "Because We Could: A Memoir" become a film.

I can clearly visualize myself sitting in a director-style chair beside some famous Hollywood director - albeit with duct tape over my mouth.

The only progress I have made towards this end is to get the book in Burton Cummings' hands. (He is an important character in the novel.)

Yeah, but I gotta say that it was easier to sleep with the guy than to accomplish this! Now I am trying to get a letter to him (should have put it in the damn book!) asking if he would be interested in doing the film's score. This is assuming he doesn't want to sue me. Also assuming that he doesn't deny that his song, 'Your Backyard', was inspired by our meeting and that it is my backyard.

Also assuming there will be two moons in the sky soon.

Oh wait-- I also had an afternoon with Rob Brown, the co-founder of TIFF, and who recently founded LAFF. He liked the book. Over a few beers, it was decided that I should write my own screenplay and then he would help me find the right person to take it from there.

Make that three moons in the sky.

 

The blank space above represents what my brain looked like for months with regards to writing a screenplay. Bloody hell! This would be like asking Wayne Gretzky to dance Albrecht's Act II in Giselle or even just wear the guy's tights!

But today, I have seen the light of clarity.

First, I am going to do a little editing based on some feedback from readers.

#1 Burton will look a little less caught up in his fame (hey - he was only 26 - we can give the guy a break!).

#2 Make the story more clear as to why Dingy O'Reilly, aka Russ, told me about David's bad decision.

#3 Make sure the readers see David as the amazing guy he was - even though he was a jerk at times.

Once ready, I will send out packages to carefully selected individuals who, hopefully (Oh god how I hope, fully), will jump all over the opportunity to make the book into a movie and hire their own darn screenplay writer.

I am starting with the directors of "Play Again", "Wild" and "Pirate Radio". The parcel will contain a copy of the book, a CD of the 70's music mentioned throughout, an enthusiastic letter, readers' reviews and, just in case, I will package it in its own small garbage pail.

Jane Fonda will also receive the book - sort of a thank you for the joy I got from her artistic endeavors since I met her years ago as the caterer of her film, "Agnes of God". What the heck.

Next, I will approach McClelland & Stewart regarding 'real' publishing (Mr. McClelland used to own a Fairmile too) and I will seek out an agent - just because that seems like a good idea.

As I write this, it sounds so full of energy and brimming with high hopes, doesn't it?  I will just close my mind to the fact that millions of other writers are doing the same thing and think about Cheryl Strayed, author of "Wild". If she can do it, surely I can do it.

All comments welcome from you readers.